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236 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
236 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
ERASMUS AT SEA
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I like discovering things in my cabin: my apple, my chest, my two
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rutters. I wouldn't mind a very easy puzzle here like using a key to
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open the chest or my desk to get the apple.
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;;I've put a key in your desk that you have to search for. I could
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;;make it even easier by just having it in the desk.
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I don't like the closed doors: the passageway door, the pilot's cabin
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door, the captain's door, the mates' door, the crew's door, etc. It
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prevents free movement, but it isn't fun or tricky to open the doors.
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;;I'm reluctant to just make doors open automatically when you try
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;;to go through them. It's so traditional in I.F. that you have to
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;;open them yourself.
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I don't like all those names thrown at me when I enter a room: Van
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Nekk, Roper, Piterzoon, Croocq, Ginsel, etc., especially since they
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serve no purpose other than color. (I don't have to know them or talk to
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them.) I'd prefer treating them not as individuals but as a group:
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"Seamen are lying about, longing for death less miserable than this."
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;;This is changed. You now just get the names if you say L AT CREWMEN
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;;or WHO ARE CREWMEN.
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On the other hand, I like Captain Spillbergen as an individual. I wish
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there were more I could do with him or in front of him. (Is there a way
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to quench his thirst? If so, I can't figure it out.)
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;;In Spillbergen's desk is a flagon of water that you can find and
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;;give him. I'm surprised you haven't found it yet!
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As you know, I like the text: eating the apple, writing in the rutter,
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the rat that scurries past, etc.
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I can't figure out why, sometimes, "the storm shifts slightly, and the
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waves and wind drive you onto the rocks of a reef" and you die.
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(Sometimes this happens when I'm below deck and Specz is asleep at the
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wheel; sometimes it happens when I first WAKE SPECZ; sometimes it
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happens when I just TAKE WHEEL, letting Specz sleep.) I think I'd rather
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not die from the reefs until I'm given a chance via the bow lookout's
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call "Rotz vooruit!"
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;;I've changed this some, mostly by advancing the storm one move, so
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;;that the first message about it comes immediately. See what you
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;;think.
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I like the scene as written once the reefs are spotted: steering the
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ship, raising the foresails, getting Vinck's help, more steering, and
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the text descriptions. And I like the way the scene ends (suddenly).
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Since I don't have to do anything with the anchor (in this scene), its
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presence seems strange.
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;;It's tester insurance. Both Liz and Amy tried to find it and drop it,
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;;possibly after noticing there was one in the Galley in a later scene.
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AWAKENING IN ANJIRO
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I like the puzzle about eating food twice (the woman seems pretty smart
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-- any obscure reference to the tray and she figures out what to do). I
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like the door breaking when you open it. I like the text decsription of
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the garden.
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I neither like nor dislike the clothes and boots. LOOK AT CLOTHES got a
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nice blurb, but I've entered the house wearing the boots and it doesn't
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upset the woman. I don't remember whether I can walk down to the
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waterfront naked. If not, or if I need the boots (because the pebble
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path hurts my feet), then it's a mini-puzzle, and I'd like it better if
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I had to work a teensy bit harder to find my clothes and boots (just by
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exploring another room or location).
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;;I've added Onna not letting you back in the house if you are wearing
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;;your boots.
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I like the confrontation with the priest at the waterfront, and I like
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Omi's bit (the interview and the beheading). In many ways Omi is the
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first interesting character we meet (other than ourself), and it might
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be nice to learn more about him after the beheading. I can think of one
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other scene (at least) with Omi: the Pit. But I think I eventually want
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to read more about certain characters, like Omi: "You later learned much
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about Omi, that he was shrewd and intelligent. He appeared to serve his
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masters well, while he was serving himself even better. Like most of the
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Japanese, he never showed warmth outwardly; yet he was not as cold and
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ruthless as some others. Omi, in fact, would come to respect you, and
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you him. But now you only hated him and swore revenge." I don't where
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this would work best -- here, or at the Pit scene -- but I think it's
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worth consideration.
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I don't like the return to the Erasmus -- it's such a no-win situation.
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Rowing out there to be prevented from doing anything, and rowing back --
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it's such a letdown, which is all the more noticeable after the
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beautifiul beginning. I like the closing text -- "you can still feel the
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sweat trickling down your spine" -- bliss! But that's about the ONLY
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thing I like about the return to the Erasmus. Maybe the delicacy and
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beauty we find in the house and garden can be continued, with new
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discoveries and explorations. I'm not sure what the goal would be, but
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I'd like it to be achieveable. (I haven't spent much time thinking about
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a goal here.)
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;;This section exists entirely to get you to that closing text, which
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;;I like, too. I'd like to add more stuff in the village, but what?
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INTERVIEW WITH YABU
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I like this scene as-is, pretty much. I wasn't bothered by a second
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interview (I recall Amy or Liz thinking it repetitious, but I don't find
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it so.)
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I don't like the roll call of names: "You see Father Sebastio, Mura,
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Baccus van Nekk, Maetsukker, Ginsel, Croocq, and Vinck here." Again,
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I'd rather they be treated not as individuals, since they're not
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interesting as indiviuals. (Exceptions being Yabu, Sebastio, and maybe
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Spillbergen.)
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;;Changed as described above for the "roll-call" on the Erasmus.
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A clue is probably needed for Shogun novices about breaking the cross.
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But that's a fine-tuning.
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And perhaps more can be said about Yabu, as I suggested about Omi
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previously.
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THE PIT
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Oddly, the roll call of names doesn't bother me here. Maybe because such
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a list seems appropriate in a confined space where there's nothing else
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to look at.
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I like everything about this scene except it reminds me of Frank Capra's
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movie Meet John Doe, where Capra makes a great situation and you wonder
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how he's going to resolve it -- and Capra couldn't figure out how to
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resolve it, so it has the usual Capra saccharine ending. (You don't have
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a saccharine ending, but the ending still isn't satisfying.)
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There's NOTHING to do in the first part of the scene -- you don't even
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get to choose a straw. It's only 4 or 5 turns now, but it could be even
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fewer.
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I can't remember Amy's suggestion, but I remember liking it when I
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remembered it.
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;;I've changed it so that you can get picked as the victim. Omi no
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;;longer says not to pick you. If you resist, or if you prevent Vinck
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;;from being taken (if he's the loser), Pieterzoon is still taken.
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;;The scene also goes to the logical end, now.
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Maybe the scuffle with the samurai could go on a little longer. Then
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again, maybe all-text combat isn't very interesting, but it was
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certainly the most interactive part of this scene.
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I recall from the book that some unlucky samurai gets stuck in the Pit.
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Maybe it's up to the player to prevent his being killed by the others?
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;;He's there if you fight hard enough. He even drops a knife that you
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;;can get for a few turns.
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VOYAGE TO OSAKA
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I like the analogy of the galley riding like "a fat-bellied pig."
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Rodrigues orders the player to steer south. The player who does this
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loses, but I don't think it's at all obvious that the player should do
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otherwise.
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;;I've changed the text to make it more obvious that Rodrigues is
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;;chickening out, and that you (as the brave guy you are) shouldn't
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;;go along.
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The player goes foreward (on Rodrigues' order) to tell the men to ship
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oars. But this doesn't work and the player has to go back to the helm.
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How about if the command DOES work (when you say MEN, SHIP OARS), at
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least temporarily; then, as you return to the helm, a wave or gust of
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wind nearly tips the boat and THEN the player is nearly washed
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overboard. Instead of a nameless hand pulling you from the sea, it can
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be Rodrigues (giving the player more incentive to rescue him later -- to
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return the favor). The wave or gust that nearly washes you overboard
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can screw up the oarsmen again, explaining Rodrigues' leaving the helm.
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I like going ashore looking for Rodrigues -- it suddenly makes the scene
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seem so much larger (not surprising, I guess, since you go from 2 rooms
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to a lot). And though I haven't figured out how to save Yabu, I like
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the puzzle. (I have the rope and I've thrown things at Yabu, including
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rocks, without success.) I like the time element here -- I seem to have
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plenty of moves to try things, but I don't have forever, since the tide
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comes in.
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I guess the search for Rodrigues is realistic, and I can't think of a
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better way to do it; but having to search each location twice is kind of
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repetitious. (Though you've managed to keep it from being dull by
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putting in good text: "sea-bloated ... half-eaten ... crab-mutilated
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corpses.")
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As you get out of the skiff, the text says "You disembark quickly,
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intending to lead the search party, but Yabu usurps that position and
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sets a strong pace, which you are hard put to keep up with." But I don't
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believe you can FOLLOW YABU; he's "here."
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Overall, I guess this is one of my favorite scenes: it's got puzzles and
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color and exploration.
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ESCAPE FROM OSAKA
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I successfully finished this scene once upon a time; I failed to finish
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it most recently, so these notes are incomplete.
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The exchanges between Buntaro, Ishido, and Hiro-matsu are very nice. But
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the player lacks for a goal or something to do besides wait. Similarly,
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the player lacks any incentive to LOOK AT KIRITSUBO when Sazuko screams
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and falls. I think this scene suffers from its faithfulness to the book.
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I can only suggest a pretty major change for the first part, which keeps
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the things I like but differs greatly from the book; namely:
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The scene begins (non-interactively) with Blackthorne overhearing a
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conversation between Toranaga & Kiritsubo (or Toranaga & Hiro-matsu),
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tipping the player off about the switcheroo. The interactive portion
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then begins much as it does now, except the player must get Hiro-matsu
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somehow into the Courtyard or Forecourt to prevent Ishido and Buntaro
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from battling. (Since Hiro-matsu doesn't understand English, perhaps the
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player has to steal something of Hiro-matsu's and be chased to the
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Courtyard.) Then, when the switcheroo comes, Toranaga or Kiri
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accidentally drops something, or gets a veil caught on something or
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another, and Blackthorne must save the situation. Then the scene
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continues pretty much as written. This gives, at least, a goal for the
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player early on, plus an incentive to LOOK AT KIRITSUBO at the right
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moment.
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I don't understand why, but I enjoy the maze taking me through the
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streets of Osaka. (I didn't get that far in my most recent play.) I
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don't remember if the "map" takes over the entire screen. If not, you
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could have some road-rally-type clues to help you get through the maze
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"in time." (Currently there seems to be no time limit; but if the
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cortege were being chased, it would be necessary to LOOK AT SIGN, see
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the fish, and know to turn north.) |